The New Cameron
by Idontknowwhatthatmeans32
Summary: Just a look at how a romance between House and the new, grown-up Cameron might go. No Cuddy-bashing, although I do kind of ignore all the Huddy romance. And for once, Wilson's out of the loop. Now done. Fourth chapter is an alternate ending to eco-nut ep.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: For the record, I'd just like to say that I like Cuddy. She was fantastic in the first couple seasons. The banter and gameplay between her and House was hilarious. But at the end of the day, she was, as House said, an administator - a different species. And in my opinion, the current romance is completely destroying everything that made Cuddy great. Cameron could have those slightly pathetic, truly cringe-worthy, oh-god-why-would-you-ask-that moments, because she was naive and young and yeah, kind of pathetically devoted. It worked. But it doesn't really work for Cuddy. It's kind of wrong. And _really_ pathetic. I mean, taking over his office to get his attention? She's a grown-up. One of the youngest administators of a hospital that size, or something. One of the only women in a position like that. And she just totally loses all self-control and respect? Maybe when she was in junior high. Sorry. Long rant. There's a lot of frustration building this season. Don't even get me started on the new people. On with the show.

"Have you ever seen _His Girl Friday_?" The question came at him out of the blue the instant he picked up the telephone. He had been expecting Wilson, or Cuddy maybe (he'd left before she'd tracked him down to yell at him for the stunt he'd pulled to diagnose his patient earlier). The brusque, breezy delivery almost made him doubt who he thought was on the other end.

"Why?" he managed before the silence stretched too long.

"I was just watching it and thought of you." She said it flippantly. He wondered if she was drunk. Truth be told, he's a little buzzed on scotch and Vicodin, so he played along.

"Really?" he drew the word out. "Why's that, Doctor Cameron?"

"The main character's an ass," she said cheerfully.

"What does dear Robert think?"

"God only knows." He could hear her smiling; the common phrase a subtle dig at Chase's piety versus their shared ambivalence.

"Trouble in paradise? Do tell." His tone was sardonic, mocking, as usual, but he had yet to really attack her. He told himself he was pumping her for juicy gossip and biding his time.

"What's to tell? He did something idiotic and I'm crashing with my girlfriend for the night. She thinks I'm calling him."

"And why would she think that?"

"Oh, I don't know. I guess there's a character that reminds me of him, too. Very nice guy."

"But my guy's an ass."

"Of course."

"What happens in the end?"

"What do you think happens? The ass gets the girl."

"Are you trying to tell me something, Doctor Cameron?"

"Certainly not. You've always made it very clear that you weren't interested. Everything the ass does is to get the girl back. Gets the nice guy thrown into jail three times and nearly kills his mother."

"Well that's overkill. I leave people's mothers out of it – most of the time, that is." He recalls a number of occasions that it wasn't true and decides that 'most of the time' was generous. "So watching the nice guy lose is the way to bounce back from a fight with the British Ken doll?"

"House, there are only three men a girl can count on no matter what." Cameron says in a playfully superior and utterly foreign tone of voice. "Ben, Jerry, and Cary Grant."

He lets out a short bark of laughter at that. "Is that so?"

"It is. I'd better go." He hung up. She rolled her eyes. He could have said 'good night'. But then he wouldn't be House.

That was a Friday, but even if it had been a working day the next day it wouldn't have made much difference – they only saw each other when he or his fellows sought her out. The next Monday, it was like the phone call never happened. She wondered on Tuesday if she'd made a mistake in calling him – but really, what did it matter? Was there still something there? Well – yes, there was potential. But she'd moved on. She was no longer pining. And even if she did stop dating Chase – a breakup was on the horizon – she was still happy with where she was. Professionally she was – maybe not being used to her full capacity, but she liked the ER. She liked helping people. Somebody had to do this job. The exhaustion at the end of the day made her feel like she was doing something worthwhile, without the emotional rollercoasters and moral dilemmas of House's employ. By Thursday, she had forgotten about the phone call, having just gotten into a huge fight with Chase in a storage closet.

Friday at 8:00 she was coming off a 12 hour shift and she knew she wouldn't be able to sleep after dealing with a nasty car crash with kids involved. There were two in the ICU and she told the head nurse she'd call later to check on them. House would crucify her for doing that, she thought to herself as she made her way to the car. Chase would crucify her for thinking about House. She was actually thankful that he was working tonight.

She noticed halfway across the parking lot that there was something sitting on the roof of her car on the driver's side, like you would put down a cup of coffee if you couldn't find your keys. She got closer and picked it up. Ben and Jerry's – cookie dough, her favourite. And below that – a DVD. _Only Angels Have Wings_. With a Post-it on the cover telling her to start it at 10:00. It put a smile on her face as she drove home and stowed the ice cream in the freezer. She took a long shower, like it could wash away the memories, and then put some kind of frozen meal in the microwave without paying much attention to it. Then she looked down at herself. She'd slipped into sweat pants and her college sweatshirt, and pulled her wet hair into a messy bun. Should she change? No, she decided. This was the perfect way to prove that she was over him. And she really didn't feel like putting effort into her appearance tonight. She did take her hair down – her grandmother would kill her if she went to bed with wet hair. She checked email after her dinner and then tried to concentrate on a medical journal. It was useless. She poured a glass of wine and cleaned the living room. She was waiting for ten minutes with her ice cream, wine, and the movie in the DVD player. She called the hospital to check on the condition of the two little girls. The same. She started the movie at ten, glancing despite herself at the door before she did so. The phone rang at 10:05.

"Hello?"

"Did you start the movie?"

"Yes."

"Good. How many times did you look through the peephole to see if I was coming?"

"I limited myself to staring at the door from the couch in the living room."

"Ouch."

"It could be more a reflection on my day than on you."

"I heard. Dare I ask, or will you get all weepy?"

"The kids are in the ICU. The verdict's still out on the father, too."

He grunted an indeterminate sort of reply, which was more understanding than she'd dared to hope for. They watched in silence for a while until the movie banter prompted theirs again. They stayed on the phone the entire movie. They didn't say all that much, and nothing of substance, but he made her laugh.

As the end credits rolled she felt a twinge of regret. He was going to hang up now.

"Are you going to be able to sleep?" he asked quietly as she turned off the tv and the dvd player and carried her wine glass and the empty ice cream container to the kitchen.

"Yeah, I think so," she smiled. "Thanks for the ice cream."

"Don't get used it. You can buy your own next time." He grumbled. There was silence then, and not a comfortable silence like during the movie.

"We should do Hitchcock." She said finally.

"Mmm." He grunted noncommittally. He hadn't lashed out, though. That was both impressive and surprising. And a little frightening, too.

"I guess – good night." She said, not pushing her luck by pushing him to set a date.

"Night." He mumbled, and hung up.

And that's pretty much how it went. The next time she knew that she'd have a night at home and Chase-free, she left a DVD on his desk. He called, they watched, they laughed, he hung up first. And then it was his turn to pick. It had been going on for about three months when Chase finally broke up with her. She'd been waiting him out. This way he kept his pride intact and hopefully wouldn't be completely unbearable when they happened to cross paths at work. She didn't say anything when House called that night except to make a joke at Chase's expense. He reciprocated with a story about something idiotic Chase had done before she'd been hired.

Several months later, she knew that he had an undiagnosed patient and was sitting at home brooding instead of sitting in his office brooding, and she cautiously asked about the symptoms. They bounced ideas back and forth, missing completely the second half of the movie, but they had two or three good ideas for the fellows running gels all night. She stopped by his office the next day.

"Hey."

"Look who it is. Want me to fire Thirteen?"

"No, I just wanted to find out if you diagnosed the patient or not."

He glared at her.

"What?"

"Since when do you not know the names of patients?" She caught the file he tossed at her.

"Since they're not mine, I guess." She looked it up and burst into laughter. "How's Joe?" she managed several minutes later.

"Who's Joe?" he asked casually and she burst into laughter again.

The fellows in the other room looked at each other.

"What's going on?" Kutner hissed.

"Who cares?" Taub asked.

"Maybe if he's getting some he'll be less cranky." Kutner said hopefully. The phone rang and Cameron made House answer it.

"Is it just me or has he been worse lately?" Thirteen mused. She and Kutner looked at each other.

"You try to break them up and he'll break you," Foreman warned. He wasn't sure how to feel about this new development. On the one hand, Cameron was laughing. On the other hand, it was House. Sooner or later he was going to hurt her. And there was Chase to consider. Foreman would take Cameron's side any day of the week, but he did feel some kind of loyalty to Chase – like any disparate entities who went through a traumatic experience together.

"Chase? Can you come get your little bleeding heart? She's making a mess on the rug." House said, pleased at the prospect of annoying Chase. Cameron's face went carefully blank. There was an awkward pause before Chase ignored the comment and updated House on the condition of his patient, then hung up abruptly. House was about to tell Cameron but was interrupted by Cuddy and the twins' angry entrance.

"What are you doing here, Doctor Cameron?" she demanded.

Cameron looked at House and then back at Cuddy. "I just came to check on the condition of House's patient." She said.

"Why?" Cuddy demanded again.

Cameron squared her shoulders. "Just curious. I should get back."

"Yeah, maybe you should." Cuddy would later regret lashing out at Cameron. It was like kicking a puppy. She was angry at House, as usual, and the younger woman just got caught in the crossfire. Cameron left and she proceeded to chew out House about his unusually vicious verbal assault on a major donor.

A/N: I would appreciate feedback on my characterization of House. I mean, he has to be out-of-character to be in a relationship, but I'm trying to plot a believable arc to get him there. Let me know. Thanks!


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Thanks for all the reviews, guys! I'm getting spoiled. I'll have to stay here in the House universe.

It was his turn to pick a movie, and they didn't speak until the formal fundraiser nearly two weeks later. Cuddy still hadn't gotten over that donor thing, so he went, albeit reluctantly and in sneakers. He was at the bar when she walked in. She wore purple this year, and her make-up was smoky as opposed to glossy. He thought she looked even hotter than the gambling fundraiser years ago, and grown-up to boot. He turned away as she approached the bar.

"Do you want a drink?" she asked the female friend she'd come with, the one he hadn't noticed up to that point.

"Not yet. Excuse me, I see bachelor number 1."

"Happy hunting." Cameron laughed. He smelled her light perfume behind him before she spoke.

"You came."

"So did you. You going Thirteen's way?" he asked as though he hadn't overheard their conversation.

"My friend couldn't pass up the opportunity to meet so many handsome single doctors."

"If that's what she's after, you'd better steer her away from Jimmy." He nodded over her shoulder. She didn't turn to look.

"Isn't he single this week?" she asked with a smile. He was doing his best not to look at her.

"Not for long, from the looks of it. Don't you want to warn her?" Cameron did look over her shoulder this time, seeing that her friend and Wilson were indeed flirting.

"No. She might get some alimony out of it." They fell silent until Cameron caught sight on Chase across the room. He started threading through the crowd in her direction.

"Okay, how much would you rather be watching _Notorious_ right now?" she asked.

"I'd rather be in a prison cell in Myanmar than be here right now."

"Your office, ten minutes, okay?" she slipped out. House saw Chase then as he paused halfway across the room and glared. Chase turned around and went the other way. House chuckled, revelling in the power of fear, then made a run for it when he saw Cuddy looking around.

She had made a detour to her office to grab her laptop and was perched on the filing cabinet, leaving him the chair. She was playing with his ball. When she saw him she dropped it on his desk and held out two vending machine bags of chips. He chose one and pulled the movie out of a desk drawer. They said very little until she caught him eyeing her chips.

"Would you like to trade?" she asked patiently.

"If you want to." He snatched hers. She pried his out of his hand.

"You're sure you don't want to come back?" he asked halfway through.

"You can't just fire Thirteen."

"That was not an answer. And she's going to quit soon, anyway."

"Why?"

"There's that caring again. If the Huntington's doesn't scare her into quitting, Foreman will. Foreman's going to quit soon, too. If you came back, I wouldn't have to interview people."

"Just make Kutner do the interviews. You'll end up with another pretty girl."

"Oh, come on. You know you want to. I've still got the cripple, and in the same place too." She laughed so hard he thought she might fall off the filing cabinet. Then the door was thrown open and she did fall.

"House, Cuddy wants you back at the party. Allison?"

"Your friend wasn't needy enough." House told her, watching her straighten her dress.

"Cuddy threatened to torpedo me unless I had you back in ten minutes. Come on."

"You bring me back down there, I torpedo you. I have her friend. The Cameron vouch gets you a lot further than Cuddy's."

"You guys were – oh my god. You're the reason he's suddenly got all the old movies and why he's busy all the time – he missed bowling!" Wilson was flabbergasted as it all started to come together.

"Let's go down to the party." House muttered.

"I can't believe I didn't know about this. Why didn't you tell me that you two were dating?"

"We're not dating exactly," Cameron said, looking at House and then back at Wilson with increasing desperation.

"We're not dating at all. It's not my fault she's incapable of growing out of this lovesick puppy dog phase!" House spat at Wilson and stalked out without so much as a glance at Cameron.

"Jerk!" she picked up her purse.

"Look, Allison, he didn't mean it," Wilson said. She hit him in the head with her purse.

"Not him, you. Idiot! You backed him into a corner where he had to admit feelings for me or fight his way out. Of course he did what he did, he's House! Goddamnit, Wilson, do you know how long it took to get him in person?" She sighed and flounced out, leaving Wilson flummoxed.

She scanned the room full of donors and potential donors and then double-checked the bar. Of course he wasn't there. She almost got to the door but Cuddy caught her.

"Where are you going, Doctor Cameron?"

"I –"

"Nowhere? That's what I like to hear. You are in charge of the ER now. These fundraisers are no longer a party for you, they are a responsibility. I don't really care if you wore that dress for Chase, House, or the donors, you and I are going to mingle and earn this hospital some money."

It was another two hours before some creep who spent twenty minutes leering at her signed a big check on the spot and Cuddy loosened her grip on Cameron's arm enough for her to engineer an escape. She was then waylaid by Chase, who drunkenly tried to hook up with her. With a sigh and a couple of very un-Cameron-like muttered curse words, she put him in the backseat of her car and got behind the wheel.

She pulled up and put the Child Lock on so Chase couldn't get out. Not that it would be a problem – he looked like he'd passed out.

She knocked on the apartment door a couple of times.

"I have your iPod!" she yelled through the door. A moment later, it swung open. She kissed him without preliminaries and tasted the Scotch he'd been drinking when he finally decided to return the kiss. She reluctantly pulled away.

"Where's my iPod?" he growled.

"How should I know?" she shrugged and smiled, turning to leave. She didn't hear him shut the door until she rounded the corner. She was unlocking the car when her phone started ringing. She got inside and answered it as she started the car.

"Why is the wombat in your car?" he asked.

"He's drunk. I'm taking him home." She sighed.

"So you are still Cameron. But what if I wanted you to stay?" he whined.

"House we can't go from zero to sixty in one night. I can't. I gotta go, he's waking up."

"I'll call you tomorrow." He said before the hang-up she'd been expecting. Of course, he didn't call her the next day, but she figured it was a test and didn't make a big deal about it when he called her two days later.

A/N: It's not over yet, because we all know that as hard as it is to get House to admit to feelings, it's harder to co-exist.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: So, I discovered, after several disastrous attempts, that I cannot write everyday established relationship Hameron. At all. So I summarize. Sorry about the wait. I think this is probably the last part. Also, I didn't mean to play the Stacy card. I know it's done a lot. Sorry. But I don't have her suddenly being a heinous bitch, just sort of mentioned.

After that, they started a relationship that was as close to normal as they would ever get. They rarely went out for dinner – House wouldn't say anything, of course, but she was pretty sure it made him self-conscious when people stared at the cripple with the younger woman. But take-out and tv was just fine with Cameron. As the months wore on, they occasionally went out to a bar with Wilson and Cuddy (was that on again, or were they just House's only friends?).

If his fellows and others were hoping that Cameron would soften him, they were bitterly disappointed. _Bitterly_. It was as though House spared Cameron of some (Lord knows, not all) of his sarcasm and bitterness and then needed to vent it at work. Or else he felt he had to prove that he was still himself. Either way, Thirteen did indeed quit and although he hired one at a time (well, Wilson and Cameron did), he ran through seventeen well-qualified applicants in less than four months. Cuddy was at the end of her rope, between the baby, hospital business, House's usual hijinks, and the fellows who ran bawling into her office (and to be perfectly fair, the women were almost as bad). Only Cameron knew that Kutner and House were making money together in Chase's pool, and that House would ease up if the fellow had a couple of days to go before the payoff. She had initially tried to get him to back off, but now she just tried to intercept the bawlers before they got to Cuddy.

House snarked when his leg was particularly bad or when a diagnosis was eluding him or for no particular reason at all, but Cameron could deal with that. She knew when to sit quietly and take it and when to snap back. And if they had huge knock-down blowout fights almost every week, the make-up sex was more than worth it. She had given up talking about his Vicodin, but every so often she'd see him reach for more than she thought he should have and he'd see her face, roll his eyes, say something caustic, and drop the pill bottle back into his pocket. In short, things had reached a dynamic equilibrium.

Cameron didn't reach her breaking point until nineteen months in, longer than even Wilson had bet on her lasting. (She had been surprised to hear that Kutner had laid money on more than eighteen months, the only one to do so.) It wasn't the fighting that got her, or his obsessive and reclusive nature, or the care she had to take not to leave anything at his place when she slept over until he cleared a drawer for her, which she only discovered when looking for a t-shirt of his to sleep in. The breaking point came in the form of a tearful melt-down in the ER that scared the mother of the little boy she'd been stitching up (four stitches after falling out of a tree). Another doctor had to take over and send Cameron to the break room, where Wilson found her composing herself about six minutes later.

"The nurses came to get you?" she asked in disbelief.

"Actually, no, Lisa did."

"How did Cuddy know?"

"Nurse told a nurse in pediatrics who told her secretary, I think. What did he do?"

"Nothing. That's the problem," she chuckled mirthlessly. "He only even wants me around when he's frisky or hungry or wants me to clean something, and then he's completely indifferent. He hasn't picked a fight in almost five months."

"You haven't fought in five months?" Wilson's jaw dropped.

"No, he hasn't started a fight in five months. I start them now, because … god, I'm pathetic. Because it feels like the only time he ever really sees me. I can deal with the sarcasm and the Vicodin and the fights, but … I don't know that I can deal with this. I don't know if this is his way of telling me he no longer wants me to. When he pushed Stacy away, was it like this?"

"Stacy. Oh. Ohh." He said with understanding.

"What?" she snapped, grabbing a handful of his collar and twisting it.

He raised an eyebrow. She let him go, but repeated her demand.

"About five months ago, Stacy came to see him. She stayed with Mark through his physical therapy and then left him. Thought maybe House would like to give it another shot."

"Did he? Does he?"

"I won't repeat what they both told me he told her, but the gist of it was … no. A very emphatic no."

"So then why is he doing this?"

"I don't know." Wilson shrugged. "I stopped quizzing him about you. Once you hit the one-year milestone and stuck after he completely ignored the anniversary, I figured you were in it for the long haul. Not that you're not!" he added hastily. "I just didn't think he was this big of an idiot."

"You don't know him as well as you think." Cuddy put in from the doorway.

"Let's hear your bright idea." Wilson said indignantly.

"I didn't say I knew how to make it work, I just said he was an idiot. She's the one who's made it nineteen months, not me. Talk to him." She advised Cameron. "It might be a huge fight but you have to call him on his crap sometimes."

So she finished her shift and went to his place. Her resolve faltered when she walked in and found him watching tv, so she dropped her bag by the door and went into the kitchen to wash the dishes. After she washed, dried, and put away the dishes, wiped down the kitchen, and looked through the cupboards for something to eat, she steeled herself.

"So … I heard about Stacy today." She said quietly, leaning against the wall and looking at her feet.

"I heard about your meltdown," he said casually.

"Look, House, if you don't want me around anymore … just tell me. I'm tired of this."

"What, me? Surprise."

"We were doing fine before you started acting like … you don't care!"

"If you wanted rainbows and unicorns and carebear hugs you should have stayed with Chase! But he just wasn't damaged enough, was he?" He hadn't thrown that one at her in a long time.

"The fights and the sarcasm I can take, it's the damn indifference I can't!" She was shouting now, stepping away from the wall, toe-to-toe with him, because he was on his feet too, the tv forgotten.

"Fine, then leave!" he gestured at the door.

"I don't want to!" her voice broke. "I want to be with you."

"Then stop bitching about it, cause I'm sure as hell not going to change," he sneered.

"You have changed! You hardly notice me anymore."

"Hardly a change."

"Yes, it is. Ever since Stacy,"

"You'd love that, wouldn't you? If I was completely screwed up by my ex-girlfriend. More damage for you to feed on. Your husband would be so proud,"

She recoiled as if struck and then slapped him. "You don't anything about my husband and I'm sick of you pretending that you do! I'm sick of you acting like I don't exist. If you want to be a jerk, fine, be a jerk. Just do _something_."

"I never asked for this relationship. You asked. If you've changed your mind, fine, leave. I won't ask you to stay."

"That's all I want, is for you to tell me you want me to stay."

"I just told you I wouldn't. I won't ask you for anything. If you want to go, go. It's no skin off my nose. Hookers are more expensive but they don't ask you about your feelings."

"I want to stay. All I need is to hear that you want it too."

"Last time I checked, hell was good and hot." He flopped on the couch and turned up the volume so high that he didn't hear her pick up her bag and quietly pull the front door closed behind her.

Her usual break-up routine was to call a girlfriend and watch old movies, but she couldn't do either because all she'd hear from a friend was "about damn time" and the movies just made her think of him. Even Holiday, which usually gave her a warm fuzzy feeling inside no matter what, just left her sobbing. She tried Fred and Ginger, but "A Fine Romance" made her cry so hard she had to gasp for air. She turned off the DVD player and flipped around, but nothing good was on and all the reality and soaps and crappy tv made her think of him. After nineteen months everything made her think of him. She took a long shower and went to bed early.

When her husband had died, she'd kept herself together on the outside – for Joe, for his parents, for her parents, for their friends. It was easier to focus on other people's problems than her own. Her need to solve them for other people kept her going. She knew how to fake it. So she did, and though the news spread like wildfire through the hospital, no one was surprised. She went to work, she did her job, she avoided Cuddy and Wilson with tricks _he_ had taught her, she went home. She started looking for jobs elsewhere. She thought seriously about California. Why not go somewhere with sunshine all year round? She was an emotionally damaged workaholic. She had a couple of friends but no real social life. Outside two or three girlfriends, she generally only hung out with Chase, Foreman, and her new ER colleagues. Some people would miss her, but no one would be seriously inconvenienced.

She asked Cuddy for a reference, and had to tell her about California. Cuddy tried to talk about House, but Cameron avoided getting into what had happened, saying it was just time for her to move on. The job was in diagnostics. House would be pleased.

She'd sent the application but hadn't yet heard anything back. She was already taking home things in her office that didn't really need to be there, miscellaneous junk that built up, and was packing up some of her things like out-of-season clothes. She'd made no attempt to get back the things in her drawer at House's place. She's replace them.

She was doing paperwork in her office when Wilson entered.

"I'm fine, I don't know how many times I have to tell you." She sighed impatiently. She really did have a lot of paperwork, and at this point she'd even convinced herself that she was fine. He just placed a small, gift-wrapped box on her desk.

"What is this?" Cameron asked.

"House asked me to give it to you. I don't know what it is." He lingered in the doorway after she took the small box. It was about the size of a ring box. He wondered – no. And yet. "Do you think it's…."

"Sit down," Cameron sighed. "See for yourself."

Wilson sat and waited quietly, but impatiently, as she hesitated, then slowly unwrapped the box. She hesitated again before opening it, then did so slowly. Wilson couldn't see what it was, just the tears in her eyes as she raised a hand to her mouth.

"What is it?" he asked.

She held up a coin and showed him the two identical sides.

"Oh. That's – nice."

"Don't you know what this means?" She couldn't wipe her smile off her face.

"He'll turn into a homicidal maniac if you break up with him? Oh – no – he'd rather die than let you die!" He was impressed by House's romanticism.

She chuckled. "Wrong movie. He's asking me to stay." She sat smiling at the coin. Wilson thought his explanation was better.

A/N: Bonus points to whoever gets the ending. Since I just watched it and I'm thinking about it, there's a new show called Lie to Me that is very reminiscent of early House dysfunction/snark/hilarity before the Chase/Cameron and House/Cuddy and whitewashed versions of the original characters started showing up. (Although, I must say, Foreman and Thirteen were way less painful last week. She's not so bad when she has actual reasons for her screen time instead of rehashed Cameron AIDs scare stuff, and he finally has something to do other than moon about becoming House. The "shut up" thing was actually kind of cute.)


	4. Saviours

A/N: This isn't really related to the story, I was just inspired by this week's episode (because we were so, so close for a minute there). So yeah, there's spoilers for the April 13 eco-nut episode. How I wish it had turned out. We pick up more than halfway through the episode, when House is talking to Wilson. Also, I wrote this right after watching the episode and only went through it for mistakes once, so bear with me.

"Gummy bears," House said derisively. "You hate gummy bears."

"People can change." Wilson said, picking them up.

"No. And more importantly, I hate them." Wilson recognized the look House got when he was catching the scent.

"Fine. Then I won't offer you any."

"You manipulative bitch." House said. Wilson smiled. "You're not suddenly eating healthy because you want to. You're eating healthy because you know I don't want to. I've been mooching food for ten years. It either suddenly started bothering you this week, or you're,"

"Screwing with you," Wilson agreed. "It needed to be done." He went on to explain.

"You manipulative bitch." House said, and started to walk away. He suddenly stopped, turned, and limped off faster in the opposite direction, snatching the gummy bears out of Wilson's hand as he went.

House burst into the exam room. "Damn. I was hoping to interrupt something." He waited for the little boy and his mother to leave. "Your favour's repaid. Patient's cured. He's already packing for his next Earth Day Extravaganza next week."

"He almost died!" Cameron picked up the file. "He can't take a few days at home with his family?"

"People only change after trauma. If they'd wanted to change before the trauma … or if they've watched too many after school specials."

"You're talking about Chase," Cameron realized.

"I'm talking about you." He corrected her. "You lost husband number one, no surprise that the death of a colleague would make you question another long-term lease."

"You teaching commitment classes? Cause I thought you were pretty busy with your lectures on-"

"I'm sure that was going to be hysterical," House cut her off, "But let me just give you the Cliff's Notes version. Don't try to dump him by dumping cases on me." He turned.

"I told you I never wanted to dump Chase," Cameron looked hurt.

House turned, saw her expression, and looked slightly away, pressing on resolutely. "Absolutely. You wanted him to dump you. That's totally different. Much less guilt. Either way, you're out of reasons to avoid him. He went to the door and paused in it, looking for a moment like there was something else. "Kutner was a pretty dumb one to begin with." He said, and closed the door. Then it opened and something flew at her. She fumbled it (no surprise) and by the time she looked back up he was gone. She bent to pick it up. A package of gummy bears.

**********************************************************************

Cameron approached Chase in the locker room. She took a deep breath. "I should never have postponed our vacation."

Chase half-turned and then turned away again. "I should never have planned it." He said bitterly.

Cameron smiled sadly and gathered herself again. "I found the ring, in your sock." She said, voice and composure breaking. He looked up at her. She met his eyes, smiled, tears leaking from her eyes. "I didn't want you to propose out of some knee-jerk reaction to what happened to Kutner," she said, voice breaking again. She looked back down at her feet.

She didn't see him nod slightly. She only heard him respond, "Well, I guess you don't have to worry about that anymore."

"I'm not! I-" she paused. What was she here for? "I just – don't want this to be over."

He gave her a hard look. "Are you proposing to me?"

Cameron perked up a little. He still cared, that much was obvious. "I'm proposing that – we go back to the way things were. Before I found the ring."

"After I broke up with you? After you ruined my planned proposal, you expect me to-,"

"I'm not expecting," Cameron assured him quickly. "I'm – hoping,"

They looked at each other for a long minute. Finally, grudgingly, Chase trudged toward her. She smiled. Then he dropped to one knee and smiled.

The smile dropped from Cameron's face. "Chase – I'm – I'm just not ready to get married. I mean, I want to be with you, I'm just," she faltered at his angry, hurt look. "I'm just not ready." She repeated lamely.

"When will you be? Will you ever be?" He asked bitterly, getting up and going back to his locker.

"I – do you need an answer?" Cameron was close to tears again.

"No. I don't. I've got all the answers I need, thanks." He slammed his locker shut and walked past her to the door.

"Wait – what does that mean? Chase?"

He turned to look at her. "You're never going to be ready. Let me know when I can pick up my things."

Cameron sat on a bench and cried.

**********************************************************************

She had a cardboard box out and was packing up Chase's things. In order to minimize further contact, she gave him everything that was even remotely his, including most everything he'd ever given her. She heard the knock and checked the time. He was early.

"I'm not done just yet, but," she stopped abruptly when she pulled the door open and saw that it was not Chase on the other side.

"You didn't thank me for the gummy bears," he whined.

"Thanks, House. You can go now." She started to shut the door, but he stuck his cane in and forced it back open.

"I've decided that dinner would be sufficient." He limped toward the kitchen.

"House, this isn't a good time. I mean it, get out!"

"Ahh!" he cried, collapsing.

"House?" she rushed to his side. "Are you okay?"

"You're going to kick out a drug-addicted cripple? What if I overdosed?"

"House, you're neither a drug addict nor suicidal."

"You think I'm a drug addict."

"I think you're confusing me with another female doctor, the one who's currently chasing you." She left him, as he was obviously just messing with her, and went back to searching her living room for Chase-related objects. "Why don't you go bug her?"

"That's so last week." He said dismissively, getting up and sitting on the sofa. "He's not taking this, is he?"

"House, please, please, just leave before he gets here. I swear, I will never ask you for anything ever again." She begged.

"See, the problem is, that not only deprives me of fun now, but also in the future." He said cryptically. She sighed dramatically.

"What can I do to get you to leave?"

"Nothing. I miss my wombat." He shrugged and picked up the remote. She made a throttling motion with her hands and stormed off into the bedroom to check that one last time.

There was a knock.

"Honey, someone's at the door!" House yelled.

"You just couldn't help yourself, could you?" she threw him a dirty look.

"That was fast." Chase said bitterly as soon as she opened the door.

"I didn't invite him." She muttered, shoving the box at him.

He looked down and saw all his gifts. "Really cleaning house, aren't you?"

"I'm not the one who ended this." She said quietly, trying not to let House hear them. She had the door half-closed behind her.

"Hon, I need more chips!" he shouted.

"I'm not the one with another man on their couch." He said angrily.

"You know, wombat, I really have missed how easy you make it for me," House said. Cameron jumped. He was right behind her, sticking his head around the door.

Chase rolled his eyes and left.

"What's for dinner?" House asked brightly.

"I saw you in the cafeteria with Wilson earlier. You had dinner."

"That was a whole two hours ago. And you owe me!" he whined.

"House, get out. I'm not in the mood."

He shut the door. She tried to push back, but he was heavier. She heard the lock click.

"House! House, let me in! This isn't funny, House! House!" she hammered on the door.

"You owe me dinner!" he insisted.

"House, let me in! I'm not kidding!"

"I wonder where you keep your diary," he mused.

A neighbor walked by and gave Cameron a strange look.

"Hi, Mrs. Johnson," she smiled brightly. "House, I mean it!"

"Today Chase's hair was so shiny. I wonder how he does it. He's so dreamy. Too bad I'm in love with Doctor House. His piercing eyes just melt my soul," House said in a mocking falsetto.

"What do you want for dinner?" Cameron caved.

The door opened. "What do you have?"

"You don't even like gummy bears." Cameron whined, washing up in the kitchen.

"You don't know that," House sneered.

"Yes, I do." She said in a sing-song voice.

"I wouldn't be bragging, stalker." He narrowed his eyes. He was sitting on her counter watching her wash dishes.

"You're the one who forced his way into my house and wouldn't leave!"

"All right, I'll go." He shrugged, slid down, and limped toward the door. "I'm going."

"Okay," she called back.

"Here I go," he slowed down.

"Drive safe,"

"Here I go, leaving your apartment. Opening up the door. Walking out. Don't watch me leave."

She didn't answer. He opened the door back up. "Are you really not going to stop me? You've been waiting years to get me here, naked, and here you've got me halfway there and you're just letting me walk away?"

"House, I just got dumped. I don't want you here, let alone naked."

"That's a _huge_ lie."

"No, it's not."

"You can't fool me. I've been watching Lie to Me."

Cameron was silent a moment. "It starts in ten minutes."

"I set my Tivo." He shrugged, thinking she was trying to convince him to leave.

"You'll really watch? You won't talk through it all?" she asked.

"You better have chips." He limped toward the couch.

"He reminds you of me," House guessed.

"Shhh." Cameron handed him his chips and sat down next to him (but not too near him).

"It hasn't started yet. Ice cream!" He saw it in her hands and got excited. "Gimme!"

"No." She scooted to the end of the couch. "And his abrasive personality and outrageous antics are much more amusing when you don't have to actually deal with the fallout."

"I'm the guest, you should be polite and give me the ice cream."

"You're an uninvited guest and I gave you the chips and now you're just being childish. Plus, I'm a girl who just got dumped. My ice cream needs are more important than yours."

"I know how we can satisfy all our needs," he leered.

"Shhh. It's on." She tried to hide her amusement and focus on the show.


End file.
